In room 6 we have been doing showing not telling sentences for a while now. We did this so we can improve our writing if we are writing a story.
The techniques is don't tell the emotion or you are telling. If you want to show you need to make it like this. But my shock sentence has 'shock' because Miss D said I was struggling a lot so I get tell once. After that I got a hang of it so I could write story's showing the emotion.
Here is the sentence that is corrected by Miss D
Show Tell
Bailey was happy.
Jeremy was shocked.
Jeremy was shocked.
Bailey was smiling in excitement. He ran because he couldn’t walk
because he was so excited, instead he ran. |
Jeremy stood still in shock. His stomach rumbling like
he hasn’t eaten in a while, and his mouth opened wide. |
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